A spicy scripture for the smoky-souled and slightly hungover.
Ingredients
• 2 oz vodka (the spirit that revives the spirit)
• 4 oz tomato juice (or your favorite Bloody Mary mix)
• 1 tsp Tash’s Lard Almighty Dry Rub — the holy seasoning that redeems all sins
• ½ tsp prepared horseradish (optional, but recommended for the penitent)
• ½ oz lemon juice (fresh-squeezed, not store-bought sacrilege)
• 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
• 2 dashes your favorite hot sauce
• Pinch of black pepper
• Ice cubes (as many as your faith allows)
• Optional rim: a 50/50 mix of Tash’s Lard Almighty Dry Rub + kosher salt
Garnish with:
• Celery stalk (for tradition)
• Crispy bacon strip (for devotion)
• Pickle spear, olives, or even a shrimp if you’re feeling Pentecostal
Instructions
1. The Rim of Righteousness
Moisten the rim of your glass with lemon juice.
Dip it into the Tash’s Lard Almighty + salt blend to create a halo of flavor.
Set aside while you prepare the potion.
2. The Mixing of the Miracle
In a shaker or large glass, combine vodka, tomato juice, Lard Almighty Dry Rub, lemon juice, Worcestershire, hot sauce, and horseradish.
Add ice, then stir (don’t shake — the faithful stir slowly and with purpose).
3. The Pouring of the Blessing
Strain or pour the mixture into your prepared glass over fresh ice.
Garnish generously with bacon, celery, and whatever pickled wonders the Lord provides.
4. The Communion
Sip reverently.
Let the smoke, spice, and salvation mingle on your tongue.
Repeat as necessary for redemption or brunch.
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